Category Archives: Tips
General tips and tricks for a more positive, simpler life.
It may be hard for an egg to turn into a bird: it would be a jolly sight harder for it to learn to fly while remaining an egg. We are like eggs at present. And you cannot go on indefinitely being just an ordinary, decent egg. We must be hatched or go bad.
C. S. Lewis
It is time I talk about change on this site. Change is one of those things in life that are inevitable, that happen constantly, and that we often fight tooth and nail without even knowing it, and it still happens anyway.
I won’t write a post today called “How to deal with change” because it is not about ‘how’ it is about “Why”… When we are faced with big changes in our life we often ask ‘why’.. Why should I deal with this?
The answer is simple, and a bit brutal as well…
because you have to!
Change will happen whether you like it or not. The weather changes regularly, the area you live in, the world around you. Everything changes, these days even faster than ever before, and even if you choose to ignore that fact these changes are going to happen anyway.
I have faced a great deal of changes in my life recently, many of which I embraced, but a few that I fought with all my strength putting them off and prolonging the process. By doing this, by fighting the inevitable, I was dragging out the discomfort that comes along with big changes, and in reality I was causing myself more pain then I needed to.
I went through a separation, one that I know understand was long overdue, but I kept putting it off thinking that something would change.. Yet, all along things were changing I was just too opposed to see it. I wanted the change to happen the way that I wanted it to happen, but that is the funny thing about change; it gives you exactly what you need, not necessarily what you want. So I fought it, for months, holding on to an image in my mind that didn’t exist and finding myself miserable in the process.
It was not until I realized that no matter what I did or tried the change was going to happen, and I realized that I needed to make a choice; I could either embrace the change now, or have to deal with it later. I chose to embrace it now, and I am happier than I have ever been. You see, my partner and I were not in love, we were not happy with each other and there was no way we were going to be. Sure, we had moments where we had fun, where we were friends, but the love that we shared was simply an image in our minds. For me this realization was a sad one. I wanted it to be different, and though the opportunity for change was in front of me all along, it was not the type of change I wanted. I wanted the world to change my feelings, to change my relationship, to change my partners personality altogether… Change does not happen that way, and so I chose to ‘let go’.
Letting go is not easy, in fact it took me a long time, but once I made the choice the change took over and gave me what I had needed all along, power.
We face changes everyday, big and small. Some are clear and simple choices that we make unknowingly, where others tear our souls apart. Change will never be simple, it will never be comfortable, but it can be easier if we allow it to be. Below are a few tips that may help you cope better while facing changes in your life. This advice will probably not save you tears when you face heartache, it may not heal wounds, there is no avoiding the way things make us feel. Hopefully though, this advice can help you to accept change more openly and trust that it is giving you exactly what you need in the long run.
How (and Why) you should deal with change:
- Free Your Feelings: Our emotions are within us for a reason so let them out without fear. If you want to cry, cry. Laugh if you desire and talk when you must. Allowing your feelings to flow freely will help speed up the process involved in change and allow you to move forward faster.
- Create Positive Thoughts: No matter how hard the change it is not going to be easier if you are constantly seeing it in a negative way. Instead, turn your negative thinking around and find the ‘silver lining’ in the action. (When I was going through my separation I wrote down all the positive things that would come of this big change and carried it with me at all times) By creating positive images around the struggle you are facing you are opening your mind to a new point of view. This will help you accept the changes and help you use them to better your life in the end.
- Set Goals: When you see a big change on the horizon and you are feeling scared set small goals that will move you in that direction. It is not fair to think that all change is going to move in on us gracefully, in fact most of the big changes we face in life challenge us to our very core, but that does not mean we have to run screaming for the hills (or in my case hang on for dear life) Instead, use the approaching change as a chance to choose your own direction, or in the very least the journey there.
- Ditch The Denial: One of the biggest things we do that makes change so difficult is to deny it. When we stop denying the obvious we allow ourselves to be more relaxed and open to opportunity. This is one of the hardest habits to break, but it is worth the effort. It takes not physical effort on your part but it does require you open your mind and simply let yourself and your life be as it is. Acknowledge the change and instead of denying it consider where it can take you.
- Embrace and Trust: Knowing that the change is coming is the first step, the last step is to embrace the change and trust that the world is giving you what you need to be a better, happier and more fulfilled person. Once you have done this you will not fear anymore, you may still cry, you may still want to run or fight, but you will know in your heart that what is meant to be will be. Remind yourself; “If it doesn’t happen now, it will happen later” perhaps not in the same form, and it is sure to be harder the longer you postpone, but one way or another change will happen. It is inevitable.
Until Next Time…
Move and Grow with the World!
What are some of the ways that you deal with the big changes in your life?
What changes have you been dealing with recently?
What advice would you give to other that are facing the same changes you have?
As always feel free to share your thoughts and comments on the site.
Questions or Submissions can be forwarded to: firstname.lastname@example.org
If there is one lesson I wish I could teach everyone, one thing that I could change in everyone, it would be that people follow their instincts more.
You instincts are the feelings you get inside about a particular person, place or thing. It is ‘knowing‘ something without any rational explanation why you know it, or even what it is. It is that “gut feeling” that something is just not right, and it is a feeling that is too often ignored.
Use of your instincts can be of great benefit in many aspects of your life. It can help you avoid harm, lessen heartbreak, and even save your life.
For example; let’s say you have felt lethargic lately and have expressed this concern to your doctor, who in turn brushes it off as being stress. Perhaps he gives you a prescription or provides you with ideas to combat the stress in your life and get more rest. You actively attempt to lower your level of stress but the tired feeling just won’t fade. Your instinct tells you something is wrong. If you were to act on this ‘feeling‘ you would most likely head back to the doctor’s office and press for tests, or seek out a second opinion.
This is just one example of the way our instincts are important to our lives.
Another example is a little less life-threatening: I’m sure there are times in your relationships that you get ‘feelings’ about things, both negative and positive, it is important that you pay attention to these feelings/instincts as well because they can save you some trouble and heartbreak. Let’s say you have a ‘bad feeling’ about someone you have just started dating, you tell a close friend and she thinks you are nuts. The person in question has all the things you are looking for in a mate, and you can’t quite put your finger on what it is that is wrong. Many of you would push this feeling aside, because chances are it is not strong or overwhelming, and since you have no logical explanation for it, you assume you are silly or wrong. Perhaps it is just your subconscious mind trying to keep you away from love, you might tell yourself, or maybe you are unknowingly afraid. Now, although these could be issues, and would also require some attention and work, it is vital that you stop and listen to your ‘feeling‘ to make sure that is not the cause.
Isn’t that focusing on the negative, you may ask, and I suppose in a sense it may be, but it is how you approach the subject that makes the difference.
The point is, if you have a ‘feeling’ about something it is usually right. Our emotions are rarely wrong, how many times have you felt anger when you are happy about something? Do you laugh (happily) when you are sad? Emotions are our bodies way of releasing our thoughts and helping to make us aware of ourselves so we can do what we need to remedy the situation. As in the example above, the persistent lethargy and that ‘gut feeling’ is your body’s way of trying to tell you something is wrong.
Now instincts are not always right, and they can be thrown way out of proportion. A common example of this is in relationships when a partner thinks the other is being unfaithful without any physical evidence whatsoever Although it is possible that your instincts would warn you of such an event, you must approach this situation delicately and make sure that it is not simply your own insecurities forcing these feelings rather than your actual instincts.
When was the last time you truly laughed when you were angry?
Our ‘feelings’ are there to guide us, and make us aware of what we need.
It can be difficult to follow something that you can’t explain, and intuition is obviously not helpful in every situation, but if you find that you just can’t shake a feeling it is best to explore it on a deeper level and find the source.
How our intuition/instincts works:
Your intuition/instincts come from your subconscious mind. When you are talking with someone, or engrossed in something your conscious mind may not be fully aware of everything that is going on around you. Your subconscious mind on the other hand is almost like having a video camera recording in the background, only the picture is too blurry to see clearly. Your subconscious mind picks up on things that we don’t see ourselves, and these ‘feelings’ are its way of expressing when it has seen or caught something that is not right. This could be through body language, a change in a persons tone, or some other indicator that we missed with our eyes. This is probably a far too basic explanation, but you get the idea. This is why it is important that we stop and consider our intuition when it pops up to bother us, because it is not something that happens every day.
Other ways that instincts can help you are by taking away stress. Did you ever have a teacher tell you that your first thought on an answer is usually the correct response? Well, it tends to be true. Our subconscious mind holds the answers and if we follow our first instincts, on most things, we will usually discover that we made the right choice.
As I said throughout this post, our instincts are not something that can be relied on solely and are only meant to make you aware and help you to take proper action. Be sure you are paying attention to these signals, but do not focus on them in a negative way or you may invite negativity into your mind. When you get a feeling you just can’t shake take the opportunity to examine them further to find an explanation.
Until Next Time…
Follow your heart.
*Tips to help you find your intuition*
Ask questions, and listen to your immediate answers.
Meditate, your inner voice will let you know the way.
If in doubt, step away.
Pay closer attention to how you regularly ‘feel’.
Keep an intuition journal of all these ‘feelings’ when they occur.
Exercise the right (creative) side of your brain more.
Possibly Related Articles:
- I do have the insticts! I really do! (talesfrommummyland.wordpress.com)
- Your powerful mind (hypnotherapywithkatrina.wordpress.com)
- The Big Cats of the Conscious and Subconscious Mind (believementalhealth.wordpress.com)
- Are You Attracted To The Wrong Sort Of Man (conseillesrelations.wordpress.com)
- Subconscious Mind Exercises (tugorega.wordpress.com)
- Trust Your Instincts (herbirthmarks.wordpress.com)
- Retrain your subconscious mind (lextafe.wordpress.com)
- The Subconscious Mind (stm8215.wordpress.com)
- Instinct (thereinventshop.com)
- Women are stupid…. (advicesister.wordpress.com)
Well it is that time of year and the novelty of resolutions for the New Year has worn off for many. Despite the fact that you hit the gym hard for the entire month of January, most of February (well 8 of the 28 days anyway) and the first week of March (Okay, maybe not the entire week…) You are losing momentum and you feel yourself failing fast.
Don’t give up hope just yet, there is still time to get back on track with those resolutions and accomplish your goals for the New Year.
March is a tough time for resolutions. In fact so are April, May, June and July for that matter. Life has gotten back to normal after the chaos of the holiday season, the kids have returned to school, and your workload has picked up. Finding time, and energy, to accomplish your New Years goals is getting more difficult by the day, and you are about to throw in the towel.
Despite a strong start you may not be seeing the results you hoped for yet, and this can be deflating. Fear not, I have a few tips to help you re-focus on your goals, and re-boot your drive to succeed.
There are three things you have to do if you hope to get your butt back on track:
- Forgive yourself
- Return to the present
- Learn from your mistakes
Lets say your resolution was to lose those extra pounds by working out regularly. For the month of January you went to the gym faithfully five times a week. You may have shed a pound or two and started a healthy eating plan. February rolled around and the weather worsened, work began to pile up, and daily responsibilities cut your cardio in half. Eating healthy went out the window with Valentine chocolate sales, and now in mid-march your workout gear is buried in the closet of lost dreams.
Step back and forgive yourself.
Tell yourself that it is okay to screw up, and mean it. Accept that these things happen, accept that you are human, and truly forgive yourself. When we forgive ourselves for our failures we open the door to possibilities. Every single person has set goals for themselves that they have failed to achieve right off the bat, but it is not a failure until you give up. By forgiving yourself for your mistake you are saying, “Hey, it’s okay to get off track. It is okay to stumble. Everyone has hiccups, it is okay.” And it is okay!
Take a breath and return to the present.
Once you have forgiven yourself it is important that you return to the here and now. You screwed up yesterday, you didn’t work out last week. You ate and entire box of Pot of Gold chocolates last month, but you are not there, it is not then, it is now, this is today! It is time to focus, you might have made mistakes yesterday but this is now, you have the chance to start over at any time, you hold the power, and it is no more difficult than making a choice.
Reflect quietly and learn from your mistakes.
Now that you have forgiven yourself, and made the choice to move forward, you must take a moment to reflect on the mistakes you made along the way. Perhaps you were trying to do too much all at once. Perhaps you were trying to change too much all at once.
The most common reason that resolutions fail is because they are too far-fetched, and lack formal planning. You can not change who you are over night, every thing takes time. Once you have found where the problem lies you must revamp your resolution.
You can do this in a number of ways. First you can change your goal altogether. Instead of losing all your extra weight you might choose to set a specific goal of 15 lbs, and you may decide that you are going to do this by working out three times a week and choosing salad on weekdays, and eating healthier meals at home.
By creating more specific guidelines for ourselves we are less likely to struggle with our goals. As long as you are not changing every thing at once, or depriving yourself of things you love you can be successful.
The second option is to narrow your focus to one thing at a time. Perhaps you will begin your weight loss journey by going to the gym two times a week for one month. Then the next month you will add in a day, plus spend that month eating healthy lunches. The following month you will continue to add more challenges to your ritual forming a habit over time.
Breaking things down over longer periods allows you to focus on making a habit of one thing at a time rather than tackling everything at once. For more ideas on how to do this read the article Here It provides a new way of looking at the New Years Resolution and might inspire you to get back on track, one step at a time.
It is important that you do not take an “Oops moment” and turn it into an excuse. It is perfectly normal to stray from your goal, it happens to the best of us. The important part is the journey that gets you to your goal anyway, it is where we learn the most about ourselves.
When you are reflecting on your resolution be sure to ask yourself if this is something you really want, rather than something you think you should do. That small detail can make all the difference in how hard you work to achieve your goal. If you find that losing weight is not you ultimate goal, that you would be happy just being healthier, be sure you revamp your resolution to reflect that instead.
The point of making a resolution is to help you feel better throughout the year. It is meant to help you get closer to happiness and fulfillment. If you are basing your choices on what you think you should do, and not what you truly want, you will not be any closer to happiness then you were when you started. In fact, you might even end up further away.
There is nothing wrong with changing your mind, that is the beauty of our goals they can easily change and grow as we do. The point is to do what feels good for you, and what makes you most happy. Even if you fail 12 times in 12 months pick up the pieces and start again. The real goal lies in never giving up.
Until Next Time…
Forgive, Forget, Reflect.
Possibly Related Articles:
- 2012 Resolution Revolution (massageenvy.com)
- Why your New Year’s Resolutions fail, and what you can do to change that (savings.com)
- 10 Ways to Revive Your Resolution to Exercise (wisebread.com)
- Wait! Don’t Quit! (nobuohashi.wordpress.com)
A while back I received an email from a woman who had read a post I had written on another site about new years resolutions. This post was a lot like the one I wrote the other day here on Inspired Every Moment, and it discussed how very often the goals and resolutions we set for ourselves fail miserably.
This woman had created an image on that very subject and was kind enough to send it to me so I could review it.
Life and chaos got in the way and it took me a long time before I found the time to review the image and respond to her, but once I saw the image I knew it would be perfect to share here today. Especially in light of my recent post, which can be seen HERE
The image below is an info-graphic that depicts the way most people look at goal setting, and share the difference between people who achieve their goals and those that don’t. It is a great image that helps you to consider what you are doing differently from others in terms of goal setting and resolutions. It is interesting to look at and is laid out in an easy to understand form. She did a wonderful job, and I am thankful she shared it with me.
*Please Note: You can see the original post at onlineeducation .net*
Once again I appreciate the opportunity to share this image with you, and if you have anything of your own that you would like to share here on this site you can send it to email@example.com
Until Next Time…
The sky isn’t even a limit!
Possibly, But Probably Un-Related Articles:
- Dreams Come True (balikhassan.wordpress.com)
- Learning From Mistakes (leanexecution.wordpress.com)
- How to keep your New Years Resolution…. (richardwiseman.wordpress.com)
- New Year, New Resolutions: Tips to help you accomplish your goals! (wefittogetherblog.com)
- Resolve not to resolve (melaniemarttila.ca)
- 5 Steps To Achieve Your Goal (sheensteve.wordpress.com)
- Goals Without Means Are Meaningless (leanexecution.wordpress.com)
- CHART: What Makes a Good Infographic? (zebedeerox.com)
- setting goals : last years goals (unmaskedbeauty.com)
- 2013 Goals and Resolutions- Staying on Track (familyfocusblog.com)
With a New Year fast approaching (again) many of us are focused on Self-improvement. The journey to becoming the best you possible is a long one, but it is well worth the effort, and it is something you can resolve to do regardless of the time of year. There are three major tools when you are aimed at improving upon yourself: knowledge, resources and networks.
Knowledge = Knowing the areas where you wish to improve and how to approach them.
Resources = Information and ideas that will aid you on your journey and help you to achieve your goals.
Networks = People or groups you can talk to/share with along your journey that provide encouragement and support.
Today’s post will offer you a few of these tools and help you begin your journey to the ‘ideal you’. Below are a list of websites that may help you improve yourself and help you along your journey by connecting with like-minded people and providing you with useful tools to be the YOU that you want to be.
Six Sites That Might Improve Your Life:
- 101 Things in 1001 Days (dayzeroproject.com) – The 101 Things In 1001 Days challenge at dayzeroproject.com is a great way to change your life, and yourself, one little goal at a time. The idea of the challenge is for you to create a personal list of 101 Things that you can accomplish in the next 1001 Days. These tasks can range from small personal goals, to large life changing events. Every thing and anything, from getting a haircut to having a baby, the options are endless and the sky is the limit. The site offers you a personal profile with your list, ideas of items you may want to add, options to add ideas to your current list or your ‘someday’ list and many other useful resources. As you complete your goals, or progress through them, you have the option to share notes, update your progress and keep track of your goals and time periods. Feel free to check out the site HERE and get your list started. (If you are up for it share a link to your personal 101 Things list in the comments section and help to inspire others and motivate yourself! You can view my personal list HERE if you are looking for inspiration.)
- The Daily Challenge (meyouhealth.com) – The daily challenge created by meyouhealth.com is a “social well-being program that gives you the opportunity to positively impact your life everyday and advance your personal well-being.” The basic idea of the site is that one small positive task each day will have a huge impact on your well-being in the long-run. The site offers some great features such as, a personal profile, goal tracking, well-being trackers and testing. Each day the site sends you a small challenge via email (which you can opt out of and simply view on the site if you prefer) the type of challenge you are sent varies by preference and personal needs. You can choose the areas you want to improve and receive challenges that are aimed towards those areas or you can get the basic daily challenges which cover different aspects of your well-being each day. The site easily connects you to Facebook and allows you to create a friends list. You can comment and encourage others on the site, which also helps you earn reward points that can be used for various features and challenges. Daily Challenge is a great way to positively impact your life without having to put in much of an effort. It is also a great tool for motivation and encouragement as the members on the site are very supportive and open to sharing ideas. If you want to make some positive changes in your life but don’t know where to begin check out the Daily Challenge HERE it is a great tool to get you started on your journey to a better self.
- Oprah’s Lifeclass and Oprah.com - I couldn’t create a list of self-improvement sites without including Oprah’s Lifeclass and oprah.com Oprah is an inspiring woman who is full of wisdom and little life lessons. Since the end of her show Oprah has started a series called Oprah’s Lifeclass. On her site oprah.com there is a link to Oprah’s lifeclass which consists of inspiring articles, classes, questions, daily work for personal improvement and your own personal section for notes and a profile. You given the option of creating your own “Own Channel” and upload videos on a variety of related topics or based on lifeclass assignments. The site has a plethora of information on living a more positive and healthier life, there are many articles and ideas for every aspect of daily living, as well as in-depth information for personal growth. If your goal is to live more positively, be healthier, happier or just a better ‘you’ then I highly suggest you check out oprah.com and Oprah’s lifeclass and take the time to really get into all the information the site has to offer. It truly can be a life changing experience.
- The Happiness Project (Toolbox) – The Happiness Project was created by Gretchen Rubin and is a memoir of the year she spent test driving ‘wisdom of the ages, current scientific studies and lessons from popular culture or how to be happier.’ She wrote a book about the experience which quickly became a New York Times Bestseller, and is an active blog site filled with useful information for anyone who is looking to live a happier life. The Happiness Project Toolbox is a more personal branch of the project that allows you to start your own personalized ‘happiness project.’ With a personal profile and amazing features such as, a one sentence journal, Happiness hacks (Tips to boost happiness), Secrets of Adulthood (what you’ve learned over the years), List (for anything imaginable), Inspiration boards, Personal commandments (Principles to guide your life), Resolutions and much more. Between the Toolbox and the Blog you will have enough ideas to last a lifetime. It is a great way to get inspired, share your goals with other like-minded people, and find resources that suit your needs. You can view the Happiness Project site HERE and link to the Toolbox HERE.
- HabitForge.com – It is scientifically proven that it takes at least 21 days to form a habit. Habit Forge makes that challenge a little easier. The site allows you to choose a daily habit that will help improve your life which you can completely personalize, then they ‘check in on you’ daily by email to remind you of your daily goal. You can opt to do these goals ‘solo’ or join a group of other members that are working towards forming common habits. It is a great way to add little habits to your daily routine, or get rid of the bad ones. The layout is as simple as can be and the main focus is on your goal. You can check it out HERE and hopefully it will help you form a new habit or kick an old one to the curb. It is the little things we do that cause the big changes we crave.
- People For Good – peopleforgood.ca is a site that aims to change the world one small good deed at a time. The site is built around “The Good Experiment” which states that studies show that when you do something nice for someone it gives you a natural high that can last for weeks, even months. The experiment started with 5 Canadians being asked to do 1 good deed a day for 7 days just to see how it made them feel, and the idea has now gone global. The site gives you good deed ideas you can do yourself and allows you to share your own ideas as well. There are videos on “The Good Experiment” and a list of all the people who helped to make People For Good possible. The site itself is not very interactive, but it is inspiring and may inspire you to do a few good deeds. It’s positivity, pass it on!
The internet is full of useful tools and informative websites that can help you on your journey to become the ‘ideal you’. This list is by no means complete, it is simply six sites that I enjoy and wanted to share with you. They may or may not suit your personal needs, but they are a great source of positivity. You may also feel free to utilize this site (inspired every moment) as an outlet if needed. Share your thoughts, goals, hopes, dreams, actions and frustrations in the comment section or feel free to email for a more personal approach. Emails can be sent to firstname.lastname@example.org and all correspondences will be kept confidential. I am by no means a therapist, but I listen well and I can offer up advice when it is needed.
Sometimes you simply need to get your thoughts out and vent to an unbiased source. It is important that you have someone you can talk to about your goals and desires, it can be difficult when you have no support and often times our goals are abandoned because we don’t feel as if anyone is noticing, or even cares. This is not the case so Please don’t let this stop you from achieving your goals, this site and my email address are available to you and can be utilized to suit your specific needs.
Comment or email and share what you need and you will get an encouraging response.
Until Next Time,
Do What You Can To Be The Best You Possible.
Possibly Related Articles:
- Oprahs Latest Lifeclass Stars Antigay Rick Warren and Joel Osteen (advocate.com)
- The Happiness Project (homegrownsunshine.wordpress.com)
- The Happiness Project: Community (bedsidesign.com)
Life is tough. That’s a fact we can all agree with. Each day we are faced with challenges that test our personal strength, both physically and emotionally. Daily life can cause frustration and take a toll on our ability to live a positive lifestyle. Throw in a major crisis and you may quickly lose all faith in life itself.
Although life is tough, it doesn’t have to break you down. Below are a few tips that can help you to keep positive despite the stress of daily life or even a major crisis.
Tips to Help You Stay Positive During Stressful Times:
- Remember, Everything Happens For a Reason – We have all heard these words a million times, and chances are they have been of little comfort in the center of a crisis, but as frustrating as it can be to accept, these words are true.
It is not about religion or a higher power, it is not meant to preach or even encourage you to pray, it is simply a fact of life that when something happens it leads to something else happening as well.
Every action has a reaction, so take peace in knowing that even the worst of times have a purpose in your life and are there to help you learn, grow, and move forward.
- Be Childish – No, I am not telling you to stick out your tongue or take your toys and leave, I am referring to a child’s imagination. When you are faced with a stressful moment or a difficult person it is often helpful to take a mini-mental break. Take a deep breath and allow your mind to conjure up a positive and relaxing, or even humorous, image.
This may be a warm sandy beach, a cozy cottage, a childhood memory, or the difficult person in their underwear. No matter what image you create be sure you take a moment to really enjoy it before you act.
With practice, which I suggest you do before escaping into this image for extended periods of time in the presence of other people, you will only need a split second to calm yourself before you react.
If you were not an imaginative child or you simply want some help using mental images for relaxation there are many sites online that can teach you about mental imagery or full-out meditation. Practice it now and save yourself some negative energy later.
- Stay Overly Aware of Your Own Thoughts – When we are faced with stress, whether it is simple daily stress or an extreme crisis, our thoughts can quickly slip to the negative side of the tracks.
During stressful times be sure you pay extra attention to the thoughts that are flowing through your mind, negative thoughts lead to negative energy, and as I have said before ‘negativity breeds negativity’. Find positive things in the moment and purposefully place positive thoughts inside your mind regularly.
- Don’t be a Hater – People are annoying, this is just another fact of life that we all must learn to deal with, but even when someone has your frustrated, irritated or outright mad, try to refrain from thinking ill of them. Negative thinking in any form has an impact on your mood, even negative thoughts directed towards others change our overall energy, so even when you are upset with a person try to find something positive about them and focus on that.
This method will help you to stay positive overall, and it will also help you to better deal with the annoying person long-term. When we look at people from a different angle we often see things we did not notice before, and what better angle than a positive one?
- Tune Out – Music can have a wonderful impact on our mood and soul. When you are faced with stress try tuning out by tuning in to your favorite music. Create a playlist of all your happiest, most positive feeling songs and turn them up, loud. Dance around if it makes you feel good, or sing at the top of your lungs. Whatever makes you happy goes.
- Let It Shine – Your pearly whites that is. It might seem simple but the truth is that it is very difficult to feel bad when you are smiling. There is just something about a big smile that boosts the soul, so next time you start to feel blah plaster on a smile and wear it around. Even if the smile doesn’t lift your spirits the people around you will because they will either feed of your positive energy, or look at you like your crazy. Either way it will brighten your day.
- Trust Your Gut - When you are really stressed out, frustrated or faced with a big decision it is always best to follow your gut instincts. If something feels wrong it probably is, and if your heart and soul won’t stop telling you it’s right you should really listen. It is even important that you follow your instinct to take time out, sometimes are instincts are a way of telling us our bodies can’t take anymore and need a break. Trust yourself and do what feels right for you.
- Let It Go – When I say let it go I am not only referring to the stress, which you should release and trust that there is a solution or end in sight, but your emotions as well. If you need to cry, cry. If you want to scream, scream. Bottling up your emotions is unhealthy, both physically and mentally so let your feelings show and move on once you are done. There is nothing wrong with feeling sad, angry or hurt etc.. The key is to feel these things and then move on to the positive things that life has to offer.
These items listed above are obviously not guaranteed to make you feel better during troubled times, but I hope that they might help you to get back on the path of positivity because when you are focused on the positive things in life the bad stuff seems to work out a lot faster and with far less effort.
How do you deal with stress and still stay positive?
Until Next Time…
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Some times you have to let go of things to allow new, more useful things, into your life. Letting go can be difficult, but it can also be very positive and rewarding. Here are a few things you MUST let go of if you truly hope to live a happy and positive life…
Let Go Of…
- Guilt: Does guilt ever change the situation? Can it reverse time and change the past? The answer is NO! Guilt has no use what-so-ever. Let it go and get on with living. Take whatever it is that is making you feel guilty and use it as a lesson learned.
- Negative Thinking: Negative thinking is one of the worst things you can do to yourself. One negative thought leads to another, which leads to a snowball effect of thinking that you can’t control. Pay close attention to your thoughts by noticing your feelings, if you are thinking something that is potentially negative turn it around immediately and replace it with something positive. This simple act will make a world of difference to your mood, and your life over all.
- Need for Approval: Stop trying to get approval from others. Accept that you can not please everyone and focus on pleasing yourself. What others think doesn’t matter, your life is about how ‘you’ feel, accept that and enjoy it.
- Anger/Heartbreak: Everyone has suffered at some point. We have all had our hearts broken or been hurt in the past. Let it go and allow yourself to move forward. Holding grudges and being bitter does not change the past, but it can have a great impact on your future and can even prevent happiness from entering your life.
- Fake Friends: Having 438 friends on Facebook does not mean you have 438 friends. Chances are you have a few people online and in your life that are not ‘real’ friends, or that don’t really add to your life in any way. Break the negative connection and let these people go, true friends are hard to find but they add substance to our lives and they are always there when we need them.
- Procrastination: Stop procrastinating, just stop. If there is something that needs to be done, just do it. Period. Procrastination is a bad habit and the longer you practice it the harder the habit is to break.
- Envy: Envy is another one of those things that gets you nowhere. Why aspire to be someone else when your life is perfect just the way it is? Stop trying to keep up with the Joneses and be happy with the way things are.
- Self-Doubt: A negative self-image can have a huge impact on your well-being, let go of your self-doubt and embrace self-love. Forget the ten pounds you think you need to lose, look past the flaws you see in yourself, and stop thinking you are not good enough. You are what you create in your mind, so point out 10 fantastic things about yourself right now and start sharing those great things with others. Chances are the more you love yourself, the more others will appreciate and love you as well.
- Limitations: Your limitations are what you make them, if you doubt you can do something you will fail in your attempts. Stop putting limitations on yourself and reach for the sky. Your self-imposed limitations are the only thing holding you back from accomplishing your goals.
- Time: Stop focusing on the clock. In today’s modern world everything we do revolves around time. Time for work, time for dinner, time for meetings, calls, and rest. Outside of work let go of the time restraints and simply do what feels right for you, stop living life by the minute and start living the life you want.
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The world today is a crazy and chaotic place and we are constantly busy with one thing or another. People today have developed a damaging habit of taking care of other people and priorities before tending to their own needs. This is especially true for women, and even more so for those women that are mothers, with children to tend to and houses to keep, careers to focus on and endless to-do lists, it is no wonder our personal needs get so easily pushed aside. Amid all this chaos it is easy for us to forget, and even neglect, ourselves allowing our needs and goals to simmer on the back burner of life until they eventually filter out all together.
Imagine putting a pot of stew on the back of your stove and leaving it there for days, weeks, even years. Once you re-discovered that stew it would be spoiled and unusable and chances are it would not resemble anything even close your original plan. Your needs are a lot like this, left to sit they stale, they rot, and they eventually get lost amongst the chaos and calamity that is our daily lives. By the time we discover that we have not been tending to these needs they are often twisted, contorted, or lost altogether and on occasion it is too late to make a new pot of stew!
It is important that you find time to care for your needs, both physically and mentally, and to work towards your personal goals in life. For some reason people have a tendency to feel bad for taking time to themselves, they consider this act selfish. The truth is, there is nothing wrong with being selfish!
With so many other obligations in life it is important that you are in tip-top shape personally. How else are you going to be able to achieve all the things you do for others, and truly be happy doing so?
Finding the time to spend on yourself can be difficult when you lead a busy life and maintain the many roles as we often do in today’s world, but it is well worth the effort and can greatly affect your well-being. It can even change your life!
Below is an outline that will help you find the “Me” time you deserve and require.
- The first step in making “Me” time is to Assess what you will do with your time once you have acquired it. - Make a list of all the things that you would love to do if you only had the time. As you review this list consider and record the ways you are ‘actually‘ spending your free time. Are any of the things on your want list actually getting accomplished? Are you spending any time working towards these goals? Are you spending any time doing ‘anything‘ you really wantto do?It is important that we first discover what it is we want in order to achieve it at all. Be honest with yourself and forget about money, time restraints or other obligations. Write down what you ‘truly‘ want to spend your free time doing. It can be as small as reading a good book, or as big as backpacking across the country. The sky is the limit. The point is to assess how you are spending your time currently, and how you want to be spending your time in reality.
- Now that you know what you want to do with your time, you need to Make the time. – Keep track of all the things you are doing in a day for a week and simply cut out the clutter. Keep a diary if you must, and trim time where you can. The best way to make time out of your current schedule is to either get help or get rid of.Get help can mean any number of things, perhaps there are items on your current daily lists that could be passed onto others. Sure, chances are the kids won’t clean the floors as good as you will, but getting over perfection is also a big part of getting back your time. If most of your “Me” time is spent cleaning the house, consider hiring a maid service, even if they only come in once a week, or once a month, it will save you an ample amount of time on your own cleaning and free up a large amount of time to yourself. The same goes for time you spend chauffeuring the kids around, consider a neighborhood carpool schedule and invest in bus passes for your older kids.Consider this: even ten minutes of driving a day is over an hour extra per week that you could be spending doing something you actually enjoy!
Get rid of means just that. If it does nothing for you, is not a necessity, and you don’t enjoy it, get rid of it! This can be things like PTA Meetings, or that knitting club you started attending a few years back but absolutely hate going to now. It can be little things like constantly checking your email, organizing your recycling or daily mopping of the floors. If it is something you can’t get rid of altogether (because as much as we would all love to never wash the floors again, we sort of have to.) than find ways to cut the time you spend doing it by at least half, and consider how it can be done more efficiently. (E.g.: Instead of mopping daily, do a thorough mop weekly, and spot clean as needed)
Find five things in your life that you can either get help with or get rid of, even freeing up 15 minutes of time a day will make a huge difference overall. Once you have freed up that time take it and use it to do something you actually want to be doing from the list you created.
- Now that you know what you want to be doing, and you have the time to do theses things, it is time to Avoid Distractions. – It is amazing how much of our down time is wasted on silly distractions. By eliminating little distractions that are eating up your “Me” time, you will be more efficient in attacking your ‘want’ list.Distractions are anything that is not necessary or geared toward your goals.For example: email, telephones, texting, social sites, and television are the top distractions that take up our precious time. To help you beat your distractions stay away from triggers. Turn off your phone or close the door while you are working on your goal. Watch only the T.V. shows you truly love and then turn off the set. Television is the number one way to truly ‘waste’ time that could be better spent on something that will actually benefit you.This policy of distraction avoidance should be carried on to other aspects of your life as well. At work avoid checking your email constantly throughout the day, forward calls to an assistant or co-worker when you are busy, and avoid chatting at the water cooler or hanging back after your break. It is a habit that will quickly increase your productivity and help you free up usable time for yourself.Imagine all the little things that eat up your time each day, now choose at least 10 and cut them out immediately.
- With free time that is now free of distractions, all you have to do is Stick to your routine. – Now that you have freed up some “Me” time all you have to do is use it. To ensure that you don’t revert back to old habits and end up wasting your precious time, pencil in your “Me” time as part of your regular routine. There is something about putting things in writing that makes them less likely to be brushed aside or avoided.Do not schedule any other appointment, meetings or invitations during this time and make sure that others know you will be unavailable.One of the biggest reasons that people neglect their own personal time is for fear of letting someone else down, don’t worry about others at this time, focus on yourscheduled time.Remember it’s written in your routine so avoiding it means you are letting yourself down, and you are equally important as any other person in your life!
Once you begin to look at the way you spend your time each day you will start to see things that can be changed. For many of us our days go by in a hasty blur where we are constantly on the move and never really focused on the task at hand. By forcing yourself to focus on what you are actually spending your time on, you will be able to pin point exactly what you do and do not want to be doing.
Most importantly, don’t feel selfish. Having time to yourself to enjoy your passions, goals, or just piece of mind is a major part of living a positive and well-balanced lifestyle. Never feel bad for taking time to improve on your most valuable asset, YOU.
It may feel strange at first, especially if you are used to spending all of your time doing for others, but after while you will start to feel good about this special time, and by feeling good yourself you will be far better use to others.
Remember Happiness and Positivity are Contagious.
Until Next Time…
How do you ensure that you get time to yourself?
Do you have any tips to share?
Feel free to post your own tips and thoughts in the comments section below.
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